The "how's" and "whys"

As Kim and Ieva are accross the world, I wanted to let you all know what they left behind as I hold down the fort. For most of you in Oregon, cold temperatures mean dipping below freezing for a few hours during the night and the desperate hope that what smells like snow coming will actually stay for more than a day. In the midwest the understanding of cold is a little more refined as cold winters and snow that stays for more than a day is more common. However, recently we have experienced a cold spell in Klaipeda that is uncommonly cold, even for this region of the world.

We have had snow since the day after Christmas which stuck around in its brilliant whiteness for several weeks, occassionally getting a light dusting to cover up the road grime and has been beautiful. It began to melt about a week ago and we thought that warmer temperatures were on the way, however in the last few days the temperature dropped substantially. On its coldest day the "real feel" temperature (temp + humidity) was listed on a website at -28 C which in Farenheit is -18 degrees. This is cold for those of us from Oregon as well as anyone not wearing polar bear fur or penguin feathers. I was not born with a layer of blubber like a walrus or with Yak hide so it is pretty miserable. The clincher of it is that it is windy here and with the maratime climate from the Baltic sea, its a wet cold, not the Winnipeg, steppes, frozen tundra dry cold that is tolerable. This is the freeze your snot, make you short of breath as the cold coats your throat and ices over the inside of your car windows as the condensation freezes cold. As I drove back to Klaipeda after dropping Kim and ieva off at the airport, the windows of the van were frozen everywhere except the front and rear windshields from my breath. ITS COLD is what I am telling you. (click on the photo to see how cold)

So, we don't go outside much, conversation mostly revolves around who's car won't start, who has skin peeling off their cheeks from the wind burn and who's kid stuck their tongue to the lamp post (ok, so that was in A Christmas Story, but really, its cold.) As this moment the "real feel" temperature is -18C (0F) and it seems almost tolerable. Its funny how things change as you get used to new things. When I worked for a roofing company in Sherwood, Oregon in 1999 we had a cold spell that dipped into the 20's F for a few days and that seemed bitter cold to me. Now as long as its above 0F I think of it as pretty mild.

It seems like we really can get used to anything if we allow ourselves to do so. In a book I read called Man's search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, a concentration camp survivor talks about how he made it through the war and what kept him alive when others stronger and healthier then he died and he said, "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how". This has really stuck with me as I grow as a father, a husband and as a Christian here in Lithuania (where its freezing) When my life seems consumed with diapers, sticking my finger in Ieva's mouth to calm her for what can seem like hours, late night feedings (not me, I have diaper duty while Kim feeds) and the changes that my life has taken since fatherhood was gracefully laid upon me, I remember that being a father is such a gift, that this little perfect child, that my wife and my God are my why and as long as I have a why I can bear almost any how. In times of frustration with my job, arguments with colleagues and other trials, when we get down thinking about how bad things are, when its cold and you wish you were someplace warm or a place with toilet paper in the rest area bathrooms I have to remember that I have a why and with that why to live for I can and will bear with almost any how.

We are so blessed to be here in Lithuania, so blessed to have the wonderful friends, colleagues, family and circumstances that we have here and at home. We have hard times too, Kim's family is going through one of them right now but we have a why, and that's all we need.

Please pray for Kim and her family as they go through this time of struggle but please rejoice with them because we do have a why whose name is Jesus and he will help us bear with any how

Quick decisions & long trips

As some of you may have heard by now, we decided that ieva & I should hop a plane for North America in order to see my grandmother while there's still time. Things happened quickly:

• last friday I talked with my mom at 6:30am to get an update on grandma's health - she advised us to come, as it wasn't looking like she'd last until our scheduled trip back in June
• around noon on friday I went to a travel agent to see what kind of prices/schedules I could find for flying to Michigan within the next few days
• there was a flight leaving Vilnius (our capital city) at 7:30am on saturday for Chicago that we could get for a relatively decent price considering the short notice
• we booked the flight & I ran around Klaipeda picking up a few things & meeting with some colleagues to wrap up some details at the college
• Andrew had a basketball game at 6:30pm on friday that ieva & I watched
• we brought an LCC car home after the game, packed a suitcase & drove the 3.5 hours to Vilnius, arriving at the airport hotel around 2am
• we got up at 5:30am, walked to the airport, said goodbye to Andrew & were in the air by 8am
• upon arrival to Amsterdam where we were supposed to connect to Chicago, we discovered that the flight to Chicago was cancelled & were rebooked on a flight leaving at the same time for Detroit - which is about the same distance for my folks to drive, but easier since they don't have to go through Chicago to get there
• I scurried to find a phone in the Amsterdam airport to call dad & tell him to drive west to Detroit, rather than east to Chicago to get us, but couldn't get the phone to take my credit card
• a nice pilot happened to be walking by & offered to let me make the call on his mobile phone (such a blessing!!) & I left a message on mom & dad's machine
• ieva did amazingly well on the long flight - thankfully we had an empty seat next to us (have I mentioned how incredible our baby is??)
• we got off the plane in Detroit with no luggage, since there wasn't enough time to get it on the plane with us, and thankfully dad had gotten the message (although just barely!) and was there waiting for us
• we proceeded to wander in the parking structure for a half hour looking for his car, and then ieva & I went back inside to wait as he searched for another hour - finally finding it in the exact place he thought he had left it, but on a different level (senior moment, dad?)
• we arrived home around 3:00am Lithuania time (8pm Michigan time) and crashed
• sunday morning we went to church with dad & then drove up to Lansing in the afternoon to see Grandma, my mom & aunts
• As of this writing (noon in Michigan on Monday), our suitcase has still not arrived & we're getting stinky!! (but I called the luggage people this morning & they assured me it would be delivered later today - let's hope so, or I fear I may actually turn into my mother after wearing all of her clothes!)

Despite the last-minute craziness of this trip, I am so very glad we decided to do it. Grandma looked good, all things considered, but it's pretty clear she doesn't have much time left. The time we'll get to spend with her in the next two weeks will be a blessing!

Thank you for your prayers for us & my family. We are thankful!

Praying for Wisdom...

Ieva is very blessed to have 5 wonderful great-grandparents. 4 are on Andrew's side, and the only one left on mine is my mom's mom, Grandma Mlejnek (pronounced Mel-en-nick). Soon after we moved to Lithuania in 2002, she was diagnosed with a bone-attacking cancer called multiple myloma, but over the past 3 years has been able to keep it under control with meds. She's stayed in fairly decent health & has still been able to live independantly. In the past month, however, negative effects of the cancer have started piling up on Grandma, and at the moment she isn't doing too well. Thankfully, all 3 of her daughters (my mom & 2 aunts) are currently in Michigan with her now, taking care of her & helping to make decisions with doctors.

Ieva hasn't met any of her great grandparents yet. In fact, the only extended family members she has met are her Grandma Cliffe (my mom) and her Grandaunt Shelley (my mom's sister) when they came to visit after her birth. I am Grandma Mlejnek's only granddaughter, and Ieva is her only great granddaughter. She's actually the only grandparent I've ever been close to as an adult, and that has given us a special bond.
It's very important to me that Grandma meets her great granddaughter, and because of this, we are discussing Ieva & I flying back to Michigan in the near future to see her. It's a little frightening to think about making my first ocean-crossing flight with a baby alone, and not a pleasant thought for Andrew to be without his two favorite girls for a chunk of time, but we think it's pretty important for Ieva & I to go see Grandma while we can.

Will you please join us in praying for wisdom about this decision? We know that God is in control of all things & trust Grandma's future to Him, but also want to make the most of the time we've been given with her. Flying back comes with the stress of traveling alone with a 4-month old baby, the expenses of a last-minute flight, and making adjustments in my schedule here. Please also pray for my mom & her sisters as they talk with doctors, support & love their mother, and make decisions. This isn't an easy time for them.

I don't know who exactly reads this blog and what relationship you have to us, but if you know my parents especially, please pray for them. If you know my dad & have the ability to call & check in or write an encouraging note, I'm sure he'd appreciate it as he's been doing a lot of bachelor time lately since my mom has had to be with Grandma in Lansing a lot (a 1.5 hour drive from their home). I'm sure he's surving just fine on oatmeal and the frozen stuffed green peppers my mom left for him, but I can't help but be concerned for him, too.

Thank you for your love & support of our family! These are the times when it's difficult to live on the other side of the ocean from them, but also make us thankful to have such an incredible community of family & friends. You are a blessing to us!

My Orange Revelation

Remember how the Ukraine had it's 'Orange Revolution' last year? Well, today I had my own personal 'Orange Revelation.' Close...but not quite.

I'm not a big fan of oranges. I like the idea of them - they have a nice shape & once peeled, usually pull apart into nice wedges. I like how good they are for you and I really like drinking their juice. However, I've just never really enjoyed eating them. Oddly enough, I'd always choose a grapefruit over an orange if I had to make the choice between citrus fruit that are messy to eat.
Anyway, today as I was eating my lunch, I was staring at the only thing in our fruit bowl - the big orange Andrew put in my stocking at Christmas. I started thinking about how it was probably going to go bad soon & how I probably should eat it because it's good for me & I've had a cold lately...and before I knew it, I was getting orange skin stuck under my fingernails as I peel the thing apart. It happened to be a particularly juicy & messy orange, and I didn't enjoy the experience of eating it. But, I kept forcing myself to eat piece after piece due to the health-induced guilt trip I was putting myself through.
So, here's where the revelation came in. As I took a particularly luscious bite, all the while thinking about how much better it would be if it was a grapefruit, I started thinking about people who lived (or still live) in parts of the world where they can't get fruit. I remember hearing about how bananas were a huge deal here during Soviet times because they were so hard to get. As soon as a vendor would get a shipment of them, people would be fighting over them. How amazing would that juicy piece of orange taste to someone from a place where fruit is hard to come by? What a celebration it could be to eat this huge orange if I was someone who couldn't ever get them?
And then I realized something: I've never been without. Growing up in a middle-class home in the US provided me the luxury of getting most anything I could ever need. The only foods I didn't eat where the ones my mom just chose not to cook or the ones I didn't like. When we moved here to Lithuania in 2002, I mourned the loss of peanut butter, but that - like many other western food items - have found it's way to our grocers' shelves in recent years.

I've never had to go without.
I am so incredibly blessed.

God has blessed me (and you, too, if you live in most developed parts of the world) with so very much. I need to not lose sight of that so easily.

The next time you eat an orange (or a banana, or most fruit at that) remember to pray for those who don't have the same luxury that you do.
I know I will.

She's a big kid now!

As of this past weekend, ieva kirstine is officially grown up. Okay...maybe not quite, but she has taken the step (or been moved) from sharing a room with mom & dad to the independance of a room of her very own.
The event has more strongly impacted us (the parents) far more than her (the newly-appointed big kid), as we had really become accustomed to hearing her sweet voice from her crib at the foot of our bed & liked how quickly we could jump to her side. Now we are forced to rely on an electronic moniter, through which her voice doesn't sound nearly so sweet (but still pretty close), and trust that the big room that she's in all by herself won't spontaneously combust in the night. Oh, and hope we don't stub our toes too many times as we stumble in our sleep from our room to hers in the night to change & feed her - thankfully there's no stairs or too many turns to navigate!
After two nights on our own, we're doing okay...wait...sorry - I meant after two nights on her own, she's doing okay! ...I actually even wonder if she knows the difference.

I guess this is just the first step of many that will force us to slowly let go of our precious baby girl as she grows up before our eyes. And, like with all those difficult steps to come, I have to remind myself that this is good for both her & for us as we're teaching her to become her own person - a person who I'm sure will be simply amazing.

Ieva's first passport stamp

This past week was our last week of Christmas break & since we had a friends car at our disposal, we decided to go up to Riga, the capital city of Latvia (just north of us). Our friends & colleagues Rebecca & Pisey came with us, as they hadn't seen much of this beautiful city yet and we've gotten to know it pretty well after 4 previous trips there. Ieva did great on the 4 hour drive (sleeping most of the way!) and we all especially enjoyed the American treat of eating at a TGI Friday's in the city.
The real highlight of our trip, though, was spending half a day at the huge indoor water park, Akva Parks, which is just outside of Riga. Ieva loves to take baths, but had never actually been submerged in water before since we don't have a bathtub (we bathe her in the 5-6 inch deep base of our shower). After a few tears when we first got in the water with her, she did fantastic!! We had her in the wave pool, floating on a tube in the lazy river, in the kids play area, and on these huge underwater bubble chairs and she seemed to enjoy it all! There were loads of people around, which also didn't seem to faze her too much, and everyone was staring & smiling at our precious girl in her little blue swim diaper.
We had been there once before & wondered if we wouldn't enjoy it as much with a 3 month old baby in tow, since we wouldn't be able to ride the big slides or do many of the activities, but having Ieva there with us was fun in a new way...a more family oriented, baby-centered way...and we loved it!

Stave Family Highlights of 2005

Here are our Top 10 highlights from 2005:

10. Our (very) recent discovery of the WB sitcom 'Gilmore Girls' via a colleagues DVD set of the first two seasons (we don't know what has happened since season two, so if you know, don't tell us!! We're holding out hope to somehow get caught up)!
9. The start of our 4th year of work & ministry at Lithuania Christian College with Andrew's best yet First Year Student Orientation program.
8. Our relationships with students at LCC have deepened more than ever during this past year.
7. Having the opportunity to reconnect with dear friends & colleagues at George Fox University this past summer through working with them as they hosted the annual ACSD conference.
6. The incredibly cheap package deal we took to Hurghada, Egypt during our spring break vacation to relax from a very busy spring semester.
5. Our entire trip to the States this summer & all the connections we made with family & friends. All the love & support we were shown through countless baby showers and work opportunities were a tremendous blessing!!
4. Kim's mom & aunt's trip here to Klaipeda to be with us after Ieva's birth.
3. The day we discovered we were pregnant on January 16th.
2. Ieva's birth on September 25th.
1. Marvelling at the many ways our amazing daughter has changed and grown since her birth during the past 3 months!

We are so thankful for all that God has blessed us with during 2005 & wait with eager anticipation to see what He will do in our lives in 2006!